Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met the new boss, who kicked the door open looking 15 years-old, with sunglasses on hiding his hangover, threw his bag on the desk knocking everything over, and greeted me with, “What the hell you doing in my office, bro?” This is going to be a complete disaster, I can feel it. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
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Top comments
Vaporify 4
But I don't blame you, who can take him seriously if he's not professional?
Glitterhinoceros 14
People still wear shutter shades?
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Comments (148)
isamisis 9
I knew a guy who went to art galleries wearing bedroom slippers and a large wad of cash.
iiloki 6
YDI for being a dipshit.
laden_swallow09 35
I think your review will go well. I'd say you did the right thing. If not, you're likely better off.
br0ccoli 15
Has no one seen Undercover Boss?? you don't treat ANYONE like shit.
goodgood_fml 5
I would have fired you on the spot. So your boss seems like a nice Guy. If you didn't believe him, you should have carded him. Period. Maybe he didn't feel like wearing his Gucci suits and Tom Ford shades because then, you would have thought he was a douche. Learn to give people a chance before writing them off. This comes from a 35 year old who wears a fro-hawk and drives a Corvette. Cheers.
TheAlchemist22 9
Who would even hire a guy like that?
onorexveritas 24
that's what they're called! smh stupid ass
purpledrizzle 5
Be grateful that you handled it well and called security, I would've told him to get his drunk ass back on the Jersey Shore.
The_F3rris 11
Ydi for jumping to conclusions.
Pisslips 0
He's clearly a Lvl 12 Pimp, and he cast lvl 3 Unemployment on you. You are a Lvl 2 Ogre.