Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met the new boss, who kicked the door open looking 15 years-old, with sunglasses on hiding his hangover, threw his bag on the desk knocking everything over, and greeted me with, “What the hell you doing in my office, bro?” This is going to be a complete disaster, I can feel it. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Today, I excitedly got ready for my first day at my new job. I arrived on time, dressed up, only to find out they meant next Monday, not today. My new boss just gave me a weird look and said, "See you next week?" FML
Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
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Top comments
Vaporify 4
But I don't blame you, who can take him seriously if he's not professional?
Glitterhinoceros 14
People still wear shutter shades?
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Comments (148)
Epikouros 32
It could've been worse, OP. If you hadn't tried to throw him out, you would've had to work for Mr. Kewl Boss.
SincerelyAna11 0
He should appreciate how cautious you are and how you're always looking out at the customers... You can't trust everyone
capslockisgood 19
Swagger; now a verb.
Stoopid_life 2
Swaggered sounds like waddled but for idiots..
Complaining 13
This depends on where you work.
gemini_tw 1
I really wish you would tell us where you work
madeinafrica 1
You better hope he does not read FML - the only thing worse than a rude or judgemental employee is one who is mean about their boss behind their back and online...
janeybean 4
He "swaggered" ? Lol
TcheQ 12
YDI, for judging someone on their appearance, even if your new boss dresses like a douche
KBurns207 17
It all depends on the job you're working at. I'm a driver at a pizza place and our new owner practically did the same thing (minus the shutter shades) and I didn't know he was the owner for like 2 weeks. But it's not a job where you have to act pro so you can get away with it. But again, it's a pizza place.