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StaplerScared This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Canada

Please, think of my family…

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

234

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

urdirtyolduncle 15

He probably went home and said, "Staples. That was easy."

Lanceeden 12

Did he take your cell phone as well?

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Comments (234)

DjeePee 25

A stapler? Couldn't you just run away?

that1guy1 13

Have you never had your thumb stapled? It hurts!

urdirtyolduncle 15

He probably went home and said, "Staples. That was easy."

Ghoztencountr 0

Of course he couldn't. Obviously he was being mugged by a black guy. So u know the stereotypes

Justforlolz 14

22- soooooo, just how ******* stupid are you?

Ghoztencountr 0

I guess people don't like sarcasm

je_suis_fml 11

35- no, people don't like racism, prick.

J3R3MYY 14

We dont like racism..

ProhibitionRose 14

If you run from someone who is threatening you with a stapler you risk having them chuck it at your head while you're trying to escape =/

13FTW 9

35, that's some ****** up sarcasm dick.

amanda_say_whutt 9

Just don't tell him you have a phone and are going to call the police...

DjeePee 25

No, I haven't. But a stapler can't shoot, can it? So, if that guy threatened OP and, instead of getting mugged, OP ran away as fast as possible, he would have been safe, wouldn't he? If that guy put it immediately on OP's neck (or if OP isn't blessed with a good pair of legs), well yeah, then OP hadn't much choice.

onikage_666 0

You have to understand, he was probobly stapled to a wall or something

jhldc 1

Dammit 10 beat me to it

KiddNYC1O 22

Maybe, just maybe, op thought it was a gun...

dcg1375 7

Dammit. 73 beat me to mentioning I was beat to it.

HomeAl0ne 20

For once, someone who says "this is a stick up" and could actually follow through on their threat.

SeedlessMe 13

Hey, getting a stapler thrown at your head as you try to run away doesn't sound too pleasant to me! :) ~ almost anything can be used as a weapon, if used in the right way ...heh heh

bulgeinmypants 0

Gang Office Max OM run it

Seduisant 7

Yeahh, try to run away while someones trying to mug you AND staple you. I wouldn't know, but that sounds pretty hard to me.

youcunthole 0

Yes, that is exactly why op said he was threatened with a stapler

Gtfo_Troll 0

A stapler? Really?

rallets 23

was his name Milton?

fromthesuck 8

Ha ha jokes really on you. It wasn't even loaded.

geon_olam 17

mecretary by day, thug by night

white16sox 19

58 no them bitches can shoot. I would know, i've been shot by one.

nolarboot 10

133 - "I... I... I'll set the building on fire... Don't take my stapler..." :D

urdirtyolduncle 15

I would like to stick a candy bar in my hoodie and point it towards OP, telling him it's a stapler. It would probably work.

CallmeNighthawk 3

and risk getting a nasty staple in the calf or buttocks...i think not.

spiderman2211 0

10- That made me laugh my ass off!

flagg1888 3

At lessens didn't mug you with only a staple

ShakeMeDown 12

If the thug was James Bond you could have died.

Sniperkid07 6

James Bond doesn't need a stapler. Just an environment full of coincidentally perfect circumstances to create a chain reaction that perfectly kills everyone but the good guys.

LexSpades 4

Dude what a pussy.

icy37 10

In that case OP wouldn't post this FML about being mugged by a stapler.

False_Stupidity 42

It's a staple in every muggers tool bag

plasticspoon 0

Should have taken out your trusty staple remover!!

Lanceeden 12

Did he take your cell phone as well?

J3R3MYY 14

OP: "Umm.. Ill call the cops!" Him: "Oh and Ill take your phone along with your pride."

smashmaster52 0

Lol I think he's referring to the one where the mugger took the guys phone cuz he said he would call the cops

robertlovespi 3

Thank you captain obvious.

azidhsu 6

Stewie will never say things like that, imposter.

tehrealone 6

Was the OP carrying paper? Even big strong scary fellas just want to be helpful.

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

You guys realize that its probably not an office staple..right?

Michael_Kelso 0

Well op could have fought him off with one of those little staple removers.

rallets 23

you realize thats the only type of stapler.. right? OP only said stapler, not staple gun or anything, soooo yyyyyyeaahh

Spazz420 7

Good cLl! lmfao

smashmaster52 0

136 - that doesn't mean it couldn't be a staple gun

doughertyz 1

#83 You're welcome Sergeant Sarcasm :P

Boygenius50 8

I feel like 152 isn't okay...

thebadmanpuntedb 7

Electric staplers, they'll get you every time.

J3R3MYY 14

I had just pictured a normal stapler, forgot about those.

RussianFox 13

Almost anything can be used as a weapon these days.

VorpikeII 17

Air bending skills go!

StopDropNRoll 11

Can't you run away a few feet from the outlet rendering the electric stapler useless? Or does it run on batteries?

rcbarnes 24

LOL! Good call.

hemz_fml 13

You're scared of a stapler?

Justforlolz 14

Hey, let me see you get one of those little bastards shoved somewhere up your anatomy and walk away with a straight face.

Garytt 0

I'll slap you with my stapler

auriane_fml 19

If someone would try to rob me with a stapler I would probably die laughing. The robber must have known this and is taking his victims stuff when they are busy laughing. I wonder how many people have been robbed by that person.

hemz_fml 13

I bet your dumbass would like to watch that. It's not even that painful just a sting so quit being a little bitch and grow a pair of balls.

YayFlameWarz 9

I'm certain the mugger didn't use a regular stapler, probably an industrial one

ThatOneCanadian 0

op shouldve whipped out a pencil sharpener and scared that guy off

cjguthrie 8

They don't hurt I get big cuts so I personally staple them shut

ohmandapants 17

I personally would be worried about maybe getting beat down with the stapler, not so much getting stapled. I'm pretty sure getting hit over the head with a stapler at full force would hurt like hell.

NomOnShroomz 14

Like a boss. (see what I did there?)

Lanceeden 12

actually I don't...

NomOnShroomz 14

cause bosses use staplers?..

OneNightStan 2

I see what you did there. Not funny.

KiddNYC1O 22

6- There are far too many pieces for that puzzle...

KiddNYC1O 22

Imbeciles.

babyskate_fml 6

I did :)!

piggsy1992 15

Did he take your pride?

btstig 11

I'm guessing so. It was a stapler.

TeeHee124 0

Batman Begins anyone?

thisisafunnyname 12

"dude today i mugged this guy using a stapler!" "whoa what'd you take?" "his pride, dignity, and virginity"

mpsteve137 15

Better leave a dumb comment so someone will reply to mine. God I hope they thumbs up it. Oh and ydi pussy

MarjoCupcake 11

And why did he get away with it? Him: GIMME YO MONEY OR I'LL GETCHA WITH MY STABLER! You: Lolwut

Mizz_FML 0

It may hurt more with a Stapler and not a stabler...

13FTW 9

Yeah, a stabler sounds like some painful shit.

flockz 20

when i shit it's relieving, not painful.

13FTW 9

Flockz, you never have those lead log ***** that keep you out of class for half an hour? Those are excruciating I hear.

flockz 20

why would they be painful though? my ***** have never been painful. two weeks in a cell with "Big" Bubba Johnson fixed that.

drlove78843 6

Stabler is the shiiiiiiiit

CaliforniaErin 13

Should have kicked him in the nuts and called it a day.

KiddNYC1O 22

Like a boss. Perfect.

fmlist99 0

^ i see what you did there.. :P

cicpjaky 6

Fails, they happen to the best of us