Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
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Top comments
anythingmustbe 18
They probably thought you were pissed.
Capitan 15
Your story brought back the memories.. Except mine spilled on the nurse. She was pissed.
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Comments (33)
Headcrab 29
I'm glad that kind of test doesn't exist here. Drug tests for a job? 'free' country, LOL!
Octwo 16
Sorry if most companies don't want crack addicts as employees. Clearly you've never had to deal with someone addicted to drugs.
uhnevermind 24
It sounds like HE is addicted to drugs if it's such a big deal to him.
ReDer 12
good you got more time to get the drugs out of your system ;)
martin8337 36
You may have a new nickname: Peabody.
KiaKarma 11
They won't matter if you get the job. And if it's a good job, it'll be worth it. Urine it to win it!
Croooow 11
Desperate people drink a bunch of water to flush their system before a drug test, not knowing it doesn't really help. I wonder if the employer thought that's what you were trying to do. Not saying that's what you were doing, of course, but it probably crossed their minds.
worldclassrager 41
At least they let you explain and didn't think that you were too high to consintrate
TaysDarkLust 11
Are you too high to spell concentrate right?
Secret_Ninjaa 35
I would have been pissed off
interesting33 37
Yep that sucks.. that really does suck :P
theinformer 3
There is a button for that
rabbi1010 29
Thats lucky. The drug tests for jobs I've taken they give you a five minute period and if you spill it or can't pee, you failed and don't get the job.
DeadPixel4 29
Today, I had to sit next to this piss smelling guy in the waiting room.FML