Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anythingmustbe 18
They probably thought you were pissed.
Capitan 15
Your story brought back the memories.. Except mine spilled on the nurse. She was pissed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (33)
DonPandon 15
What about the smell?
Kamon97 23
Hope you weren't eating asparagus before you peed the first time
skyhighh 9
I peed myself laughing at this.
every1luvsboners 11
Your mental capacity is that of a rabid dingo smoking penis dust, in a port-a-jon. You can't piss in a cup, but you're somehow planning on getting a job, and working too. Give up on life for now and try again in a couple years, geneus.
Poppy8127 15
You can't even spell genius right...
FucYoCouch 13
Who pissed in your Cornflakes this morning, 19? You make it sounds as if you've never made a slip-up. Don't be such a dick about it. The tops on those cups aren't easy to screw on properly either and I'm more than positive that Op isn't the only person on this planet who's come across this incident. It's okay, Op, when you're C.E.O. of the company one day, you'll look back and laugh at the memory(:
rocker_chick105 31
God people it's Boners... he isn't serious
briang959 47
Urine an awkward situation but I'm sure it'll all work out.
Sirmrcrowley 12
He could've gotten out sooner, but he pissed the first chance away.
91hayek 31
**** those people.It's just urine. Mostly ammonia and water. Whenever others have accidents like that I sympathize and just think everyone pissed themselves for the early years of their lives. Unless you came out of the womb potty trained, you can't judge. OOH YOU PISSED IN A CUP! What do you want? A medal?
bluefrootloops 13
SO did you pass, get the job?
rosenkrieger223 24
I was wondering the same thing. Poor OP. This story needs a happy ending.
obey_nikki_ 9
youu reemindeed mee of thee same dilemma ihaad buut with a doctor ' all i caan saay is thaat he waas pissed ....
dawnimus 21
Whyyy dooo yoouuu typee likee thiis?
PresidentNorth 16
I like to stretch out words I say to. Gives it the amount of emphasis I need.
rosenkrieger223 24
#51, Her keyboard could have some keys that are stuck (I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt here), but it's most likely due to the fact that she's 15...
theDopestChiick 8
lmao
buckdharma 38
I want a new drug test. One that won't spill. One that don't make me look like a klutz. Or make me pee at will.
Omniprism 15
Pee happens sometimes. I'm sure it's not the first time. And at least it was your own.