Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML
Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, while on a road trip, we stopped and went to the bathroom. I didn’t need to go, but my parents told me to "try anyway." I’m 24. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, I'm on a long car trip with a friend who makes fun of my pee breaks every 45 minutes. "Well, are you incontinent? You should wear diapers, otherwise we'll never reach our destination!" What she doesn't know : I have bladder issues, and even if I try not to use them, I do wear diapers. FML
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Top comments
cdiem_fml 9
How old is he?
TheAspieDork 27
When they gotta go, they gotta go.
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Comments (61)
Platinum69 8
Germans don't joke around!
itsme82 18
Wow your kid is something else. Let me guess you pulled out clean clothes and helped him clean himself up too. Didn't you? My kid would NEVER even think about counting down like that. Because he would know there would be consequences. Sounds like it's past time you kid learns what discipline is.
Catdragon 40
consequences for needing to go pee? wow, unbelievable.
slavka012 11
Wanting to pee is one thing deliberately creating a mess is a different matter
DankNissan 11
I guess you could call that a "dick move." I'll let myself out.
TMO2142 25
Your over used comment is pissing people off i think.
bobmcmuffin 5
atleast he gave you a warning
Catdragon 40
You can die from holding your pee in too long. I know one time I told my bro I needed to pee really bad and he asked me to hold it til we got to his apartment. We passed several locations with bathrooms and I started crying my eyes out because I didn't want to pee myself. He was laughing the whole time. Then the car got a flat tire. You have no idea how shitty that was. If someone has to pee, let them go pee.
james_logan 19
Sounds less shitty, more pissy... sorry for my bad pun
kingdomgirl94 29
Did you read the FML? He gave OP a countdown in which there was no time to find a bathroom.
withered 30
You can also die from drinking too much water.
Justinspires 5
How come people don't believe someone when they really say they have to go? I don't feel bad for you! You got warned lmao
slothstronaught 11
Don't let a kid run your life man! I know your awesome in your own way. Slap down some discipline!
mattyiscool123 26
That was so on purpose
jj_snipez01 3
spank him?
sighlifeman 12
pull on the side of the road... wtf son not daughter