Pile on
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
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Top comments
cavalos94 0
yeah poor turtle
zekecastro 0
Franklin!!!! you will be missed in kiddy shows. R.I.P Franklin.
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Comments (310)
seeunexttuesdays 6
one ninja turtle down, three more to go! just kidding!
seeunexttuesdays 6
one ninja turtle down, three more to go! just kidding!
OkayImSorry 0
I don't give a shit if I die. You act like I care.
demoreice 0
I want to hear the turtle's side :(
Dodie__fml 2
Is the tree ok?
HannahForbesxo 13
A good deed never goes unpunished.
bibble8 0
sorry to break it to you, but turtles live in water...
3yellowzebras 19
I was looking for the first person to point this fact out! well done :-) I'm guessing OP meant tortoise?
3yellowzebras 19
I was looking for the first person to point this fact out! well done :-) I'm guessing OP meant tortoise?
Ugi 27
I think this is a British English vs American English issue - in American, apparently, "turtle" is used for both land and sea-dwelling animals.
ReynshineCutting 10
It's also possible that it was a turtle crossing the road. I used to have 2 pet turtles that I found. The first I found in the grass in my yard and the other was in our pool. We see them in the road all the time so it's definitely possible.
Dodie__fml 2
they have legs for a reason
SGT_DBL 15
You don't swerve to avoid small animals in the road because there is a greater chance of causing an accident by doing that than there is of saving the animal. As evidence of this fact, I present you with your smashed car and one smashed turtle. YDI OP.
typark123 7
wow this is the safest FML because I think I've seen this story like at lest 20 times get your own story !! ughh
Bobissmall 13
Why should 43 have to be joking? Some turtles do only live in water. Easy mistake to make.