Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML
Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zp5 4
"hi how are you doing-whoa! i am so sorry-whoa! that was an accident-whoa!..."
SixteenAndSOL 0
LMAO. maybe he liked you. ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
saywhaaat_01 0
haha ewwww.
zemo999 0
for you, I wouldn't need a bus...wink wink
Zmeilerr 22
creeper alert
Zmeilerr 22
creeper alert
Fortuitous 0
#41 and 42, the double post adds to the effect of your comment.
Zmeilerr 22
Haha Fort, I thought the exact same thing when I saw it
Fortuitous 0
I like how you changed your comment. My belief is that there is a point in time where you have to be nice.
Fortuitous 0
Well, you see... Ah, **** it. There is too much stupidity and not enough time to type out nice comments.
Zmeilerr 22
ignorance my iPhone often double posts by accident
CitizenSnipz 0
Epic win, epic Ignorance Fail. God I hope I doublepost.
marinus_fml 20
Was it one of those cool red double decker buses you have in the UK?
Zmeilerr 22
yea
knoll4007 3
hey marinus... how to drop u a pm?
marinus_fml 20
through the actual website
roeallen 11
I'm going to guess it was a bud-ette. Just putting it out there
Selena_is_back 7
How do I unblock someone? I accidentally blocked someone... -_-
KarinaLizeth18 5
Click on "My Messages" > where it says "My Contacts" click on "View My Contacts" > Click on the "Unblock" button next to the name of the user you accidenty blocked. ^.^ This happened to me once so that's why I felt the need to help. :P
Selena_is_back 7
hahaha thanks :)
Selena_is_back 7
That's offensive.
DrAwesome 6
*takes notes from drunk guy*
AlexBuda 0
Are you sure he was drunk? He was clever enough to feel you up 12 times lmao
meowcow 3
awesome! Homeless bum WIN!!
mola_mola 3
Nowhere in the FML does it say that this man was homeless This is Britain nearly everyone is drunk from the age of 13 :)
ieatdeadcats 0
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
GaryBusey1121 0
that's hilarious and u show your ****** for $ that's a ^win^
ThePaperDragon 31
Come on 27, tease those guys instead of giving them a show for nothing, it makes them so much more horny if they've been teased for a bit.
ThePaperDragon 31
Please disregard my other comment, I misread it as you showing yourself for nothing, instead of money, which I still think is wrong.
GaryBusey1121 0
this coming from the girl showing half of nip in her pic, classy
ThePaperDragon 31
After an inspection of my picture, I must say my nipple is not* exposed at all, if you are referring to my left breast, that's was a temporary imperfection that has since cleared up. But, if it is the amount of cleavage I have, um, its a tank top, and it was summer, so, would you mind leaving me be; old man?
FuckMyEveryth1ng 0
Haha damn, sure put him in his place. xD
ThePaperDragon 31
lol, I think I did.
Cyosaric 0
I really hate hypocrites. especially ones who look like absolute teases. I bet you're a baptist who screams rape when a guy hugs you. I have no problems with baptists, by the way. Just the hypocritical, morbidly idiotic ones. Call me old. I'm sixteen :)
DrAwesome 6
Damn jailbait these days... Just can't catch a break... D: Wait... Is this thing on?
xpopcorn 0
I don't mind the exposure :) Hahahahahahahaha
ieatdeadcats 0
paper dragon... you take things way to seriously. I don't actually show my ****** for money. I'm assuming you think I eat dead cats too?
FuckMyEveryth1ng 0
Come now, you don't have to take shame in it. Take pride in eating dead cats and showing your ****** for money! xD
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
sucks to be u! ;3
syddyb 0
you dont look 13.