Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
Today, after finding out that I'd slept with our married neighbor, I found out my husband had slept with him too as revenge. FML
Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Today, I found a video camera behind a plant in my bedroom. My husband uses it to video tape himself having sex, with another woman. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I found out my wife has been taking "Love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML
Today, and since we moved on base, my neighbor’s wife has tried to have an affair with me. I got tired of it and told him. He blew smoke. I found out she’s in a cheating wife’s club, who all defend each other. She proclaimed to all our neighbors that I’m a predator and I'd attacked her. They believe her instead of my wife, who saw everything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
docsigma 8
...five? Your husband's got mad endurance!
Andrewl_FML 0
Is "slaps his sausage" slang for masterbating or is he ACTUALLY slapping a sausage. I personally think if he was literally slapping a sausage while watching you have sex would be so much funnier!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
Angelice_fml 0
Next time, invite him inside for a better view...or a 3-way. (;
ahoyajee 3
wonder how you found that out.
dmeloccaro 5
Me too #23. how the hell did you find out???
Themindblower 4
Have you ever heard of curtains?
travis_08 0
Hey it's free **** ;)
subwoofa 0
Do you own curtains?
bobbeta30 14
Ydi for not closing the blinds
afgzz 2
So you watched him watching you having sex? How does your husband feel about that? Watching other man while having sex with him lol
noreallywhat 17
Am I the only person to question this whole 5 cigs thing? I know how long it takes to smoke a cig and if your husband last for 5 of them I don't see how your life in anyway is FML worthy
Goku34 3
How did you even find this out?