Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, I woke up from a great night of camping and fishing all night long with my fiancee, only to find my stringer of fish being eaten by a water moccasin snake. My dad's been asking for a fish fry for two weeks now. FML
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, I went fishing. Not only did I lose the fish, I lost the entire rod. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML
Took, I took my son fishing. We ended the night at the ER. FML
Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML
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Top comments
Doxy 22
You're a trend setter by nature I see. A fisherman's tan is going to be the next big thing. I just can feel it.
poetrywriter12 6
Maybe your troll father was trying teach you a lesson for sleeping when you were meant to spend time with him.
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Comments (61)
Lost_Ghost 8
One word. Awesome!!! I love parents who have no problems with jokes and pranks with their children.
worldclassrager 41
Well long sleeves long pants will cover that...or dress up for a bit until it fades away...
CookieLovesBoo 16
Hopefully it goes away soon .
buddy51 23
Well, OP, I guess your time with your dad had led to a net gain in your suntan... Maybe next time pay more attention to the old codger and he won't feel so obliged to prank you. The next time, rather that waking up draped in a net, you might find he's placed countless fish hooks around you and is muttering "Do you want to play a game?....."
Zeke10 12
Looks like you were your father's big catch!
andrew6p 19
I think your father did put the net on you! If so, your dad is a creative prankster!
VeganVampyre 27
This reminds me of the time a bunch of my friends and I spent an afternoon drawing on each other with sharpies. One of my friends got a wicked sunburn that day, and when he washed the sharpie off he discovered that he hadn't tanned where the drawings were (turns out sharpie is a great sunblock. Who knew?) so he was bright red and covered in white designs of flowers, hearts, stars, vines, and things like "I hate cheese", "Jamie's property, hands off", and "inconceivable!". Lasted for a couple of weeks, he was not impressed. At least OP just has a diamond pattern instead of random phrases and pictures, right?
ShyAnn29 15
That's so funny, I had know idea that a sharpie was good sunblock!
Cocokiss_xoxoo 1
Maybe You Should Invest In The Proper Form Of Clothing. .Like A Shirt. Or Lessons On How To Use Capital Letters Properly
hannahsnyder69 16
I have actually always wanted to do that
Futacy 30
At least your dad didn't try to blame it on the mermaids that the government is trying to hide.