Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Today, I was told that I was a terrible mother, I was ruining my daughter’s life and that I was raising her to be promiscuous. Why? Because I'd painted my 2-year-old’s fingernails. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
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Top comments
AlphaC 0
You have a five year old daughter. That immediately exempts you from being called gay or unmanly. You're not gay/unmanly because you have neon-green fingernails. You're a parent of a five year old daughter. Cheer up, it's not THAT bad.
justme001 0
Hey, it means you participate in your kid's life. Good for you, eff anyone who would say otherwise.
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Comments (321)
taz3195 0
Wow.... I bet they looked pretty!!!
yaa 0
Jee my dad would never let me paint his nails.
iDuck 0
Old people like you shouldn't be on the Internet. D :
Emwo 0
Blaming the kids can get you out of a lot of stuff. xD As long as it's not serious
56578 0
Hey, she is your daughter and you were being a good dad. The people at work will understand.
guserickson 0
awww bro! but good 4 u. sounds like your a good dad! but neon green! c'mon!
Phoenix_GAD 0
this is not an fml. this is seriously sweet. haha my dad never would have done that for me. all i can say is you must be a super awesome dad. congrats on ur extremely creative daughter! and be proud of ur green nails!! i personally like bight colors for nail polish. try electric blue next time. amazing.
jamieraemac 0
God bless you for being like that. I wish my dad would so much as think of playing with me when I was little. Stay a good dad, take some pictures and love love love. Your daughter deserves it
mwischmann 0
Aww cute :)
elsieenchanted 0
"Don't you just LOVE my neon green nail polish? I do!" Aha.(: But, you could just explain. :] I remember when I was like 5 or 6 I would put hair clip's in my dads hair and paint his nails. Trust me, you'll be fine.