Today, I was told that I was a terrible mother, I was ruining my daughter’s life and that I was raising her to be promiscuous. Why? Because I'd painted my 2-year-old’s fingernails. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, I found out that in the past, my mother has paid or outright threatened my girlfriends into breaking up with me, because they were, "unsuitable trash not fit to be the mothers of my future grand babies." This explains why I’m 47 and have never married or had children. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my daughter is almost never included in activities my family has for their daughters. I’ve been told mine is “too wild” and “unladylike” because she likes being barefoot, climbing trees, and playing with animals. Meanwhile, they have their 10-12 year-olds in weaves, acrylics, makeup, and heels. FML
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
Seriously? Painting your daughter's fingernails means you're a terrible mother? The last time I checked, little girls loved having their fingernails painted and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do so.
RichardPencil 32
How rude! What kind of prudish prig would say such a thing?!?! Good thing she didn’t see your two-year-old’s lower-back tattoo!
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Comments (18)
Glowworm56 27
Seriously? Painting your daughter's fingernails means you're a terrible mother? The last time I checked, little girls loved having their fingernails painted and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do so.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Nothing wrong with painting a kid's fingernails EXCEPT that it's pretty toxic stuff and 2yos can chew on their nails
DanielleinDC 34
There are nontoxic nail polishes. Hopefully OP found a safe nail polish. I echo the sentiment of another commenter who said that if you can get your two-year-old to sit still long enough to polish her nails, that's a sign of a GOOD mother.
Zachary8261 28
Ignore her. You’ll be a great mom, you know it.
manb91uk 22
Well you know what they say... Painted nails are a gateway. Scarlet nails leads to scarlet ladies
Allie614032 34
Damn, someone must have had serious mommy issues.
RichardPencil 32
How rude! What kind of prudish prig would say such a thing?!?! Good thing she didn’t see your two-year-old’s lower-back tattoo!
T3chie 13
This is my favorite comment lol
Lobby_Bee 18
How dare you just paint your daughter's nails without adding any fake swarovski crystals and patterns. Bad mother.
kazekai8 11
Is literally just nail painting how harmful is it going to be?
Mona Roblin 5
Today, you got a two year old to sit still while getting her nails done. You are a wonderful mother.
boopingsnoot 25
Who is this judgemental ass-butt, don't they have anything better to do, and can you excise them from your life?
Gloria DiBlasio_1442619339 4
Castiel? Is that you?
Gamegeeks Jay 3
Ass-butt... I will be using that for years to come.
Zeatha Mistron 7
Did you tell that person to **** off and die?