Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML
Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
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Top comments
Seti_fml 0
haven't you ever seen someone use a blender before? did you ever wonder why they always had a hand on the top of it? lol i hate to sound so mean, but you seriously deserve it... i mean really! thats a lack of common sense right there
crazy_cat_lady24 0
You didn't clean your kitchen for weeks?
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Comments (89)
ShenziSixaxis 0
I agree with #10. And dump that useless piece of meat.
BvR 0
Everyone on here telling you to remake the drink is obviously male. Dump your loser boyfriend
ohhdamn 0
I'm a girl and if my boyfriend got hit the head he would still make me another ******* smoothie.
Lalala203 0
#81 You are obviously a huge bitch.
safirestar09 0
#86, you are obviously a bigger bitch. Possibly a man-bitch. Or maybe both.
redbluegreen 41
This is why you weren't allowed in the kitchen as a kid. When you've figured out how the blender works, put your boyfriend on puree with some strawberries and frozen yogurt. I mean, it's what he wanted. Word for word, kiddo. (;
Emm986 0
lmao
jnic 0
Well, I would've put a YDI if it wasn't for your boyfriend being a tool about it. Hopefully he was just joking and afterwards was all "aww jk I'll help you clean it, you're dumb but still cute". lawl.
Boweezee 0
What a ****. :/
amatayo 0
first what kind where you making? and sec your boyfriend knows what he wants besides you know they say face your fears
mobius8 0
It's not like a blender lid is going to leave you badly injured or scarred for life. Clean it up and make him his smoothie, geez.
quinnteh 0
Why shouldn't he make one for her instead? Seeing she's been hit in the head. Geez...
Vasir 2
Because he's a guy.
Emm986 0
It wasn't the lid. OP said it was the "Jar"--I feel like that might leave a mark...
dirtyhippie 0
Well there's no reason for you to be stupid and him to be thirsty.
fckaduck 0
Hahaha, agreed. ^_^
englishmuffin 0
Does he not know how to make his own smoothie? Or is he just lazy? Or just a prick?
emorjkid 8
I vote all of the above
Hammy14 0
ahahahahahahaa your bf... what a legend! :)