Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML
Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
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Top comments
Seti_fml 0
haven't you ever seen someone use a blender before? did you ever wonder why they always had a hand on the top of it? lol i hate to sound so mean, but you seriously deserve it... i mean really! thats a lack of common sense right there
crazy_cat_lady24 0
You didn't clean your kitchen for weeks?
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Comments (89)
piddly_03 0
did you also learn that your a douche bag?
Redneck325Ci 0
Time for you to learn proper grammar. It should read as follows: "Did you also learn that YOU'RE a douche bag".
piddly_03 0
i know proper grammar, thank you very much.
grimmelok 0
This FML is stupid.
Roddsy 0
lool you didn't lock it? xO
hellogoodbyexo09 0
Wowwwwww,First,it's called holding down the top of the blender.Clumsy much? Second,I'm so sorry that ur ashole boyfriend is a douch. No hard feelings at all :)
fotc77 0
I just had a smoothie for lunch a few minutes ago
fchandlerslife 0
so did u make him the smoothie
acro_actress95 0
Dump him. Dump him like last weeks mouldy macaroni into the garbage. LOL (I love my metaphors :-D)
bollywood_rocks 0
Apparently you're the only one who loves AND gets them :) J/K
Armadyl 0
That's a simile, 79 ;P
ncochrum 0
Smoothies>girlfriends
MADISAYSYDI 0
The way this one is worded makes it so much funnier than it would have been had it contained 'proceeded.' Thank you, OP, for not being a retard.
ultrasarah 0
what did you think the lock was for?