Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a party when I accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML
Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML
Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML
Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
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Top comments
Seti_fml 0
haven't you ever seen someone use a blender before? did you ever wonder why they always had a hand on the top of it? lol i hate to sound so mean, but you seriously deserve it... i mean really! thats a lack of common sense right there
crazy_cat_lady24 0
You didn't clean your kitchen for weeks?
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Comments (89)
xOpheliacx 0
I'm kind of torn. I wanna say YDI for not locking the blender on. but I wanna say FYL for having a douchebag for a boyfriend.
Canofbier 0
I dunno...I think that you people are overreacting. The boyfriend was trying to say something funny to lighten the mood after such a crazy happening, and I doubt he was really that concerned with whether or not he was still getting a smoothie. A lot of girls take themselves too seriously and can't laugh at the stupid/funny things that they do sometimes.
lmmmr 0
Most people are not inclined to laugh when they are in pain.
calicokitea 0
lol. I think that's what my boyfriend would've said. You just take it with a grain of salt and laugh about it, maybe he said it to make you laugh. ;)
The_Ja 0
YDI = you dumb idiot?
MaskedManic 1
YDI = You deserved it But that works too
lastminuteperm 0
Your obviously a spoiled brat who never worked a day in her life judging by the fact you can't work a ******* blender. And you complain that your boyfriend is being a "jerk" when he asked you if you were going to still make a smoothie. Maybe not at that second...but when your done cleaning that up. Just because you were an idiot doesn't mean the blender is broken. No...I know why you were complaining. You were so tired from messing up all that work! You need a trip to the spa, princess. Get over it.
lmmmr 0
Judging from your profile picture, I find it ironic that you are calling anyone a princess. And I fail to see where knowledge of blenders correlates to having "never worked a day in your life." That was a really ignorant comment.
fckaduck 0
Okay, first of all you sound like a total douche bag so you should probably go ahead and slap yourself in the face. Second, "you're = you are." UGH. And third, I'm quite certain that a very small percentage of jobs require operating a blender. You're a complete fail.
raechel 0
Haha, you are so ridiculous.
racheal_nichole 0
haha boys are so dumb. and wtf you didnt know how to use a blender lol
DFA831 0
Well did you make him a smothie?
moviemaniac97 0
LOL are you still making me a smoothie
jillz 0
YDI if you still stay with him after this
ICallKyo 3
YDI because you didn't lock the blender and didn't hold it down. FYL for having a boyfriend who's sort of insensitive. But mostly YDI for being a retard.