Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML
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Top comments
James64138 26
Well, if he's that kind of client...
MelTheGreat 23
That's some risky business.
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Comments (69)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Better to have and not need than to need and not have.
MrCheese01 2
That's why you never mix business with pleasure..
kaptvesou1 4
Uh you should know that storing condoms in a wallet reduces the integrity of the condom anyways.
amba69 0
Idiot. It was in her HANDBAG. HER PURSE. Not her wallet...
diaspora_fml 26
Have some condoms printed up with your business particulars so they can serve double duty. Confusion issue solved!
asmith12032 4
That's why you keep your private thingies in one compartment and other things in another! You'll remember to now!
athlete1990 4
Do you teach Zumba? =D
sarkaar 30
NgIf he hadn't seen the condom you could've shook hands with him saying, "If you can guess what I have in my hand you can use it on/in me" P.s. Th above would be more awkward if you picked out a business card or something else out of the billion mystic, ritual based things that are generally found in a woman's handbag! Heh.
sarkaar 30
I have no clue how "if" became "ngif" :/ Must put a bag over my head right now! :(
CptZoe 10
40, i'm sure they say that, but then they would lose all their business. There is logic there somewhere.
pdp_fml 21
Store the condom somewhere else? Maybe you could go on birth control.
viper_dlh04 1
Maybe they considered it as a business proposition.