Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML
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Top comments
James64138 26
Well, if he's that kind of client...
MelTheGreat 23
That's some risky business.
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Comments (69)
ambear26 14
30 - how does it make it different if they were catholic ? I went to a catholic school that handed out condoms.
katiemac18 2
Everyone know that keeping a condom in a wallet or purse can damage the wrapper
TheSmoothDude 10
Oh, did they teach you that in 4th grade?
gracehi 33
I think it's okay to keep it in a purse, but it's true that keeping a condom in a wallet is not good, I guess mostly for guys because they keep their wallet in their pocket so it goes through more wear and tear. Trojan even makes cases to protect a condom in your wallet.
davek 36
My wallet has enough trouble fitting in my pocket and I'm not even rich.
gracehi 33
The case is very thin--almost as thin as a single condom.
afairshake 8
Oh wow by the looks of your picture you're 10 maybe 11 at best. Do you really know so much about condoms? Oh boy but they are starting younger and younger these days.
w0rk3rj4ck 14
Well, there are pretty weird business cards out there (Google weird business cards, first hit), some of them made out of unusual materials. I've never seen a business card made of polythene or whatever either, but we can't just rule out the possibility :) wanted to reply to #59
charlotte178 4
Could of been worse, look out your business card when you're about to have sex...
gracehi 33
56, Catholic Church doctrine forbids contraception. It also, however, forbids premarital sex and abortion. I'm guessing your school realized that students were having sex and chose the lesser of two evils.
gracehi 33
Many business cards have a glossy finish. I can see how someone in a hurry and blindly searching by feel through their purse might mistake one for the other.
dcats 13
How is it possible your hand could not tell a condom or a business card?
firefightereha 4
guess you are ready if you get screwed over at work
hyperjosh 2
Seduction is a unique way to get clients to come to you
Werken247 14
That's when you look them in the eyes and ask; "So, are we ready to seal this deal?"