Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML
Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML
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Top comments
lenamartinovic 13
Why didn't you lock your bike? YDI in so many ways.
Betz 10
Perhaps she was..."two tired"
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Comments (85)
DocBastard 40
That wasn't just any homeless woman - that was GOD watching you. She stole your bike to show you how wrong it was to sneak out. Either that or she did it because she doesn't approve of your relationship and wants you to break up. Or it could have just been a homeless woman who stole your bike because you were too stupid to lock it up. I guess we'll never know.
greenie213 23
No, Bill Belichick is God!
apintsizepeanut_fml 4
George Burns was both
tkooker 6
KARMA for sneaking out lol
dino_cookie4 7
And you didnt knock her off.? Or why the HELL did you leave your bike and go walking.?
HeyArnold91 8
One does not simply leave his bike unlocked.
cowboyroy 1
Doesn't that homeless woman know its illegal to "pedal pussy"?
jep00 8
Oh... Well, did ya **** ur bitch?
mckibben 7
You're the reason us guys get bad names. Thank you, asshole.
mckibben 7
That was to number 30 btw i can't edit on android either. Sorry
gc327072 31
How does one connect the dots from walking around the block to getting naked? Perhaps *gasp* there are actually good people in this world! Imposibruuuuu!
Retired_Panda 7
oh well, get a car
laden_swallow09 35
Not easy for a 15-year-old. That's what I take from his need to sneak out in the first place and his username, anyway.
RentaName 15
It sucks when stuff gets stolen, but I guess next time you won't leave your bike out in the open.
gavo 8
idiot
laden_swallow09 35
"Today, I snuck out-" YDI