Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML
Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
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Top comments
DeathByFalchion 0
Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.
mhmmhmgood 0
haa, ive used that one too
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Comments (164)
Moemoemoe_fml 0
And then you two reminisced fond memories, or you got in trouble? XD All depends on that. *lol*
L0L_Sarah 0
your moms lying to get you to confess
Killuhk 8
Reverse psychology!!!! Dun dunn dundun DUUUNN lol
McEuph 0
I don't even know how this got on here. This one sucks.
Shadic 0
Post this on MLIA, not FML. (It'd get rejected, nobody cares.) God damn, the people moderating quotes here are starting to really ******* suck.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Funny enough, I actually accidentally gave my husband a burn mark on his neck that looked remarkably like a hickey, using a hair straightener. We were pretty amused. (I wanted to try some stuff on hair and convinced him to let me use him as guinea pig, but it had backfired. XD) Of course, it's when you need to use it as an excuse that this sort of thing won't ever fly, I guess. XD
Gavik 0
Stop sleeping around with strangers if you don't want to end up on FML.
07191995 0
so you think that just because she has a hickey it means that she slept with a stranger? sometimes i swear the people on this site are retarded
pipsqueak7 7
well said 07191995
Jessie_D 0
lmao that sucks.. but she did the same thing so she should understand.
maxxo_fml 0
how the **** is this an fml?! youre just a gnikcuf tuls nos fo a hctib erohw!
cherrydrop 0
Writing swear words backwards is no classier than writing them forwards.
fckaduck 0
Wow, lamest fml ever. This happens to so many people like every day. Same excuse every time. Blah blah blah stfu.
doubleAbattery 0
Haha, like mother like daughter.