Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML
Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
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Top comments
DeathByFalchion 0
Not THAT big of a deal if it happened to your mom too.
mhmmhmgood 0
haa, ive used that one too
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Comments (164)
Moco_hanz 0
hahahaha, it sounded like something that my ex gf would say to her parents. its not really a fml worthy since her mom admits that she used the excuse before lol
plexico 4
And your stupid grandma still thinks you are around because your mom sat on a dirty toilet seat. Shhh, I won't tell if you don't.
mrspitiful 0
wtf... this is so lame. fml lowered their standards. back ti MLIA
lives_ppl 0
Yeah I don't know what FML is anymore. Instead of a collection of what FMLs were originally, it's turned into a collection of short stories told in a witty way. Either this website needs to change its name or they need to reevaluate.
DickVanDyke 0
This is the dumbest FML ever. Oh, **** my life, I just got caught with a hickey even though my mom explicitly told me she had a hickey when she was my age! Oh, **** my ******* life! I'll never be the same!
uj_fml 4
omg fml fml your mom knows that you and your boyfriend like to fool around!!!11 This isn't even FML worthy.
Mrs_Depp0509 0
Oh my goodness! Thats the same excuse Eric used on That 70's Show!
chrisgllgs 0
one time i saw this girl walking around and she had hickies all over her neck it was gross then my friend yelled "someone had a fun night with the vacuum last night" rofl everybody in the front of school heard him and looked at her XD
mm1984 0
For those of you saying there were no hair straighteners back then: ever heard of hot combs???
sven_sven 0
YDI But I can't talk. My mom smacked my girlfriend this morning after seeing a hickey on my neck
ellysa_fml 0
Lolz