Today, after a kid-less, romantic dinner, complete with fancy wine and a back rub, my wife decided that researching Flat Earth Theory was more interesting than sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
Today, I set up a nice picnic style dinner in our living room for my wife. No special occasion, just because, but when she got home and saw it, all I got was a “great, and I suppose you’ll want sex for this?” then she made herself a sandwich and went to bed, no explanation. Why do I bother? FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML
Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I guess your North Pole isn't getting it done for her anymore.
Marcella1016 32
Well, there’s his problem right there. Most women prefer it in the South Pole region.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
I guess your North Pole isn't getting it done for her anymore.
Marcella1016 32
Well, there’s his problem right there. Most women prefer it in the South Pole region.
Plop 17
But for the north and south poles to meet would require geomagnetic reversal, thereby causing worldwide cataclysmic events!
RichardPencil 32
Well, on the flat Earth, the North Pole is on the top side (because Santa) where we all live. The South Pole is on the bottom side where everything falls off, so no one ever goes there.
Shzusuziq11 12
mustn't hand been a very good back rub
Jon Tessler 14
was sex talked about, or did you think "I'll just do these things and sex will happen"? communication is the key.
CommonSenseGuy1 1
Been there. Now my ex wife. Much happier with somebody who cares.
Bert-Buggrit 7
Misreads check box... I agree, your wife sucks!