Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
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Top comments
itwasthedognotme 14
That image probably burnt your eyes more than the soap...
ThomasBombadil 31
I think we have a winner for next weeks ILLUSTRATED FML.
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Comments (59)
dabears1011234 27
Now you have to go get a new soap that doesn't burn your eyes to clean off that nasty.
ihpp 22
Why let the soap in your eyes to begin with? most people with common sense keep them closed.
NotDarkKnight 27
This feed has been plagued by down-votes. Run for your lives, FMLers!
paramor3 23
Oh the horror!!!!! Some things you just can never get over .....
Zerizle 19
Burn the underwear...and your retinas.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Why didn't you just wash the soap away from the water coming out of the shower head?
Hpixiee 23
this is the most amount of dislikes I've seen in the comments before
hellphone_fml 37
I hope you dont get pink eye. That sucks OP, dont tell anyone else though and you can forget about it.
Epickitty58 29
Gonna be almost impossible to forget that you wiped your eyes with a pair of your dad's underwear.
worldclassrager 41
I have my bath towel lying nearby if needed...and didn't your close your eyes tightly for that reason?
Cynical_1 26
So did you put more soap back in your eyes? You know...to wash them. lol