Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, my dad went to a hardware store to replace the broken shower head in my bathroom. He got the cheapest shower head he could find, and so when I took a shower, the shower head burst out and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML
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Top comments
itwasthedognotme 14
That image probably burnt your eyes more than the soap...
ThomasBombadil 31
I think we have a winner for next weeks ILLUSTRATED FML.
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Comments (59)
ErinPinelli 24
Were they moist?
JBChristian 47
Wouldn't want to know if they were.
tucansamTommyG 12
Das nasty
charcharthunder 18
aw grose, I feel for ya :(
llamarrama01 21
Reminds me of a Drake and Josh episode.
ThomasBombadil 31
I think we have a winner for next weeks ILLUSTRATED FML.
Jghaugland 6
Depends on whether or not OP was a guy or girl. FML= no illustrated boobs.
MzZombicidal 36
#41, OP is a female and can be easily illustrated without showing anything too risque.
Starponer 7
what does OP mean
ThomasBombadil 31
OP = Original Poster = The person who wrote the FML
Nymeria_fml 25
41 - I think the Dora the Explorer illustration begs to differ.
Sophie_fml 29
Here you go! http://www.fmylife.com/love/20550446
homesuckfucker 28
Well, you were already in the shower. That problem could be solved with a quick facial cleansing. And your eyes aren't burning anymore.
Aquaman911 18
He wanted to have a good story to tell us
FilbertMoo 11
Soapy eyes might be better than underwear eyes. FYL.
scottyspot 11
I bet that pissed you off.
red225 14
I'd rather have soap burn my eyes than to have used underwear singe my eyes instead
DisabledSkeleton 8
Hey at least there wasn't shit in it... or was there.