Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while rushing to a big marketing presentation, I started feeling ill in my car. I was stuck in traffic, and before I could get my window open I threw up all over my suit. All I had were some tissues to try to clean the mess before presenting to a full boardroom. FML
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
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Top comments
fariss 14
Can you mail it to my ex?
hiitisbrooke 28
So THAT'S why my letter never came in the mail....
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Comments (48)
newzealand 28
Better than a little envelope!
RememberSchlitz 9
In any new situation, assess your exits, your cover, and available improvised vomit disposal devices.
jesstanothergurl_fml 10
It was an empty envelope, and I did dispose of it right after it happened. I am however, very impressed with how well the envelope held up
ImagineCrazy 27
There wasn't a trashcan anywhere?
jesstanothergurl_fml 10
Not in the printing room... This building is severely garbage can-deficient
jesstanothergurl_fml 10
One of the paper-sized Orange envelopes... Thick paper
Gngr_Grl 26
Nauseated: having a feeling of nausea. Nauseous: causing nausea; sickening or disgusting. One who feels nauseated is not nauseous any more than one who has been poisoned is poisonous. Sorry for you either way!
harperska 10
Nope. Every dictionary and any respected style guide will acknowledge that "nauseous" has two valid definitions - "nauseating" and "nauseated". Anyone who continues to insist that "nauseating" is the only valid definition is just being a pedantic jerk.
Gngr_Grl 26
If you're going to claim authority on grammar usage, at least use correct punctuation. Not only would one be more likely take you seriously, but also might consider you intelligent enough for an educated discussion on the distinctions between proper and accepted usage.
tarlax 11
Butthurt detected. It's funny that despite being such a smug pedant, you made two glaring grammatical mistakes of your own. If perfect grammar is so important to you, maybe you should spend more time proofreading what you write instead of blatantly upvoting your own comments. As for your reply to Harperska, I have two words for you: "red herring".
Gngr_Grl 26
It's quite a common thing to proofread multiple times only to discover an error the instant one selects "submit." I have learned several times throughout my college career and beyond to laugh at myself. Despite your stated assumption, I don't expect perfection - that would lead only to eternal frustration. However, if challenged I expect intelligence and effort. You at least gave a fractional amount more of effort, and I thank you for it - even if you do make baseless assumptions and offer little to no support for your statements. Also, I don't stoop to name call. Name calling is abusive, cheap, and a weak defense. I hope we only improve from this point onward.
Gngr_Grl 26
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it." George Bernard Shaw I accept that having peace is better than being right, and I bid you adieu. Thank you so much for the opportunity to learn and to better appreciate the wisdom of Shaw.
BananEnigma 24
Actually, I'm genuinely surprised that you were able to think clearly enough to grab the envelope before you spewed everywhere. Well done, OP! I would've been a hot mess for sure.
Tannasgh 22
Nice save
__justayy 12
Are you pregnant?
Noblemother1969 7
good call. my Daughter once opened up my car door to puke inside because she was to imbarras to puke infront of everyone after school let out. LOL