Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, an ambulance took away the woman from next door. I thought that the flat was empty since I’d never seen her, but turns out she’d been dead for 2 years. She died in bed, meaning every time I went to sleep in my bed she was only 2 feet away on the other side of the wall. I’m now super creeped out. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
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Top comments
MelissaRoo2 6
That was super vivid. Gross.:X
californiapoppy 11
Hopefully it wasn't a red colored soup! Thank you for your work saving lives!
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Comments (182)
buckdharma 38
As long as it was won ton soup. Two ton would be a little much.
skyeyez9 25
Do you try carefully as possible to wrap the body in a tarp before moving it, if its that bloated and decayed? To prevent the stuff from splattering everywhere?
metallicshadow 16
Who wants chowdah? *everyone pukes*
OneOfTheCrazies 11
And I... puke in my mouth.
mcar 13
Wow that is disgusting!
xRezSynn 15
That's a great description.
onorexveritas 24
time to call in Bones and Cam
firefly319 7
That's what I get for reading FML while eating lunch
AngelicTide 11
I am so sorry for you. Hopefully you didn't get any on you. It'll take forever to get the smell off.
omgstoparguing 10
Seriously, who hit "ydi" and why do some people always feel the need to be assholes?
psyjuggalo 11
Im also a firefighter and its part of the job so ya thats why I voted "Y.D.I"