Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, my already disabled mother is on the brink of becoming bedridden due to her weight. I flat out refused to buy fast food or unhealthy food to keep in the fridge. She started screaming through the wall that I was beating her, until the neighbors called the cops. Sadly, this isn’t the first time. FML
Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as she had been very depressed. However she has gained so much weight from stress eating she ripped it when trying to put it on, and now won't talk to me because, "I wanted to make her feel fat". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hangryko 32
Change your locks immediately. Call the cops for theft.
DLBL 23
She's 110 pounds (51 Kilos) heavier than you? She thought that by stealing your food, you'd stop eating? Yeah, HangryKo is right. Change the locks.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Hangryko 32
Change your locks immediately. Call the cops for theft.
DLBL 23
She's 110 pounds (51 Kilos) heavier than you? She thought that by stealing your food, you'd stop eating? Yeah, HangryKo is right. Change the locks.
Rake 18
Sounds like a bad eating disorder. You should get her treated...
FluffythePink 23
So she gets off on boundary stomping of the highest order? Listen to the internet for once, change the locks and don't ever let her have a key again.
newbiemalestr8 27
take her key away