Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, an ambulance took away the woman from next door. I thought that the flat was empty since I’d never seen her, but turns out she’d been dead for 2 years. She died in bed, meaning every time I went to sleep in my bed she was only 2 feet away on the other side of the wall. I’m now super creeped out. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
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Top comments
MelissaRoo2 6
That was super vivid. Gross.:X
californiapoppy 11
Hopefully it wasn't a red colored soup! Thank you for your work saving lives!
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Comments (182)
perdix 31
Considering what your likely victim would be like, I'm sure your girlfriend never serves you overcooked meat.
don1qot 6
Morbid.
don1qot 6
I see what you did there.
Reaper1984 13
I hear ya brother I also work fire rescue so I understand where you're coming from decomp and burnt flesh are by far the worst smells in the world
rmsutton 20
I don't think it's an FYL or YDI. She had no idea what you were going to go through during the day, she was just trying to be nice and have dinner ready when you got home. Just because the events of the day turned you away from what was made, it was still a nice gesture and deserves thanks. Because, honestly, how many times do you deal with something to that extent?
Ins0mau 20
I don't see O.P BLAMING his girlfriend for cooking the soup. But certainly wouldn't be nice to see after that. FHS for sure!
rhapsodys 12
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
buckdharma 38
#77- Clean up that dirty mouth feeling with "morbid" gum.
okieraider71 4
I recover bodies underwater. Same problems-have to put them in mesh bags as they come apart.
olhuma 5
I always considered the sex appeal of a pair of legs in fishnets way overrated... I guess I now have to specify - even while still attached to the body!
RoroRoxyRoo 2
this reminds me of the episode of bones when a lady gets wrapped in cellophane and her body turns into liquid.
perdix 31
No soup for you! Next!
joethebiden 8
Awww, goddamn it, I was eating breakfast here.
Obey_StudBoii 23
I just woke up and here Iam now reading this. Thanks for the vivid image, I have a really queasy stomach.