Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, an ambulance took away the woman from next door. I thought that the flat was empty since I’d never seen her, but turns out she’d been dead for 2 years. She died in bed, meaning every time I went to sleep in my bed she was only 2 feet away on the other side of the wall. I’m now super creeped out. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
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Top comments
MelissaRoo2 6
That was super vivid. Gross.:X
californiapoppy 11
Hopefully it wasn't a red colored soup! Thank you for your work saving lives!
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Comments (182)
GarageDragon 22
Hats off to you, sir! This isn't a job I and many other people would be able to do.
chlorinegreen 27
Maybe while they were moving him he got poked somehow? Or he was just extremely fragile? I keep thinking about CSI and the walking dead...
superfly9234 3
I thought all fir fighters loved blood and guts. they sure brag about their gory stories alot
AllieCat21 21
Fir fighters: fighting firs every Christmas.
bdishman21 6
I have been on a couple of those calls. They are the worst. If the smell doesn't get ya seeing everything will.
FunnyMedic 7
Blood and guts calls can be neat, but the smell of decomp is like nothing else! As for you man up ricky rescue types, well, to each their own. Personally, I always helped my EMT partner. I took my NREMT-P and ran to PA school. No "man up" sorts out there. OP, don't eat the soup.
cmotdibbler 4
I got into a sort of gross out competition with a veteran cop. My work often involves human dissections. He won with a story about a cadaver retrieval that the cop buddies referred to as "Mr. Juicy".
ulissey_fml 22
Tough luck about your dinner. So she did buy a new blender too? oops , sorry about that #34. as we say in France, great spirits mix up.
EvilUndead 9
Why did they ask firefighters to handle corpse? Isn't that somebody else's job?
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Read the FML again. They were assisting the ambulance crew. Firefighters and ambulances usually go hand-in-hand.
EvilUndead 9
72, In my area, firefigthers don't work together with ambulances. That's why I asked.
buddy51 23
I hope it was chunky style beef stew!
MissAmz 7
Right now, I'm seeing 232 'you deserved it' votes. How the hell does he deserve that, exactly?