Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, an ambulance took away the woman from next door. I thought that the flat was empty since I’d never seen her, but turns out she’d been dead for 2 years. She died in bed, meaning every time I went to sleep in my bed she was only 2 feet away on the other side of the wall. I’m now super creeped out. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
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Top comments
MelissaRoo2 6
That was super vivid. Gross.:X
californiapoppy 11
Hopefully it wasn't a red colored soup! Thank you for your work saving lives!
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Comments (182)
kut17 11
Thanks for putting me off soup for good.
docscientist 10
Campbell's tomato soup...possibilities...
fishstick557 14
I just learned at school today about how decomposing road kill pops too... What an interesting day
gregnc_fml 18
Been there and done that. Bet you could smell them from a distance. Your life doesn't suck, that job does! Glad somebody does it though.
RaggleFrock 13
17 lets get you a medal *clap clap clap*
sammyf89 13
At the time I commented there were zero "you deserved it" votes. First time I've seen it like that
demonwolfmaster 26
And this is my future but i get the before and the omg please dont pop while im working the crime scene the odd jobs people can do and is it wrong that didn't bother me to think about? um ya im twisted
The_sGTw_0979 4
I can't be the only one who couldn't understand this...
SerendipityRose 26
Not at all, 31... I'm pretty lost trying to read it, as well.
sammyf89 13
Same, I have no idea what was said!
False_Stupidity 42
I got that its his future and that he's twisted... Yeah that's all I got on this one.
andrearogers 5
Punctuation: It is your friend.
TurquoiseJesus 15
I think, maybe, he is trying to say something like this: his future job involved one side of this (someone who has to deal with dead bodies). He might go on to say that people's jobs sometimes require them to do odd things. Lastly, he is asking whether it is weird that this didn't bother him, and then immediately answering his own question, with an answer that kinda contradicts his previous writing. All this is really just kinda a guess. Had to read it several times to get this much.
docscientist 10
Word salad.
demonwolfmaster 26
wrote this on little sleep and it seems my commas didnt work damn, but what i was saying is this is my soon to be hell, im going to be working crime scenes and this is my biggest fear that we will get a floater or bloater that pops, feel bad for the op tho just because of the smell
cmac86 24
thank god we can't smell an FML.
Coffeebang 17
Oh my god... FYL!
william8 2
as a FF myself been there done that it stinks (literally)
SuperDanielNL 23
That's just nasty...
BlackBlazeCobra 16
I'm trying to imagine how a dead body pops... Okay, never mind. Lets hope you won't have another case like that.
IxCallxBULLSHIT 9
You made me imagine something that would haunt my dreams...... FOREVER! -_- Thankyou!
guckylynn 19
There's an episode of CSI where they drain a dead body that's been sitting in a humid room in a tub of water. I imagine it to be similar to that only a lot more disgusting.