Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
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Top comments
Nikki 17
‘I wanted to tell you all how good my sex life is without seeming like I’m bragging about it’
RichardPencil 32
That's what coffee is for, buddy. You give it to your girl, then drink a shit-ton of coffee to slog through work. Sometimes it's hard to be a man!
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
That's what coffee is for, buddy. You give it to your girl, then drink a shit-ton of coffee to slog through work. Sometimes it's hard to be a man!
Nikki 17
‘I wanted to tell you all how good my sex life is without seeming like I’m bragging about it’
I'mmessedup 5
I'd like to have a problem like that.
Jon Tessler 14
well if you don't like to have sex at 2am, break up with her. or simply stop complaining and drink caffeine during the day
J1523 9
and your point is? That sounds like an excellent reason to arrive at work feeling tired. Have an energy drink during the day. Not an FML at all unless you don't like sex. Would you prefer your girlfriend call some one else at 2 am?
Vesi 30
Ah no. If she cheats, that is on her. NOT him. Do NOT victim-blame or try to shame him like that.
ShooterMcGs 2
Someone else will take her. Suck it up or she’ll suck someone else mate
Lucky O'Guin 18
Nice "problem" to have. Either suck it up or give her what she wants BEFORE you go to sleep.