Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, I went into a cafe only to be greeted by a young boy who pulled down my leggings in line. Everyone got a look at my pink Hello Kitty panties with white frilly trimming before scrambling to pick them up. In the process, I banged my head on the counter, and fell on the floor, unconscious, pants still down. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML
Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Did you get fries with that?
azouwa 26
You should tell your story to a lawyer.
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Comments (33)
Donut_Wizard 23
Yeah I’d like a Mconcussion with a cracked McRib and a femur shake.
FishyFishy 12
Urine a really bad situation!
Davros 12
You McFucked up
Charlie Given 28
For one not funny and two you could have been seriously hurt and it's bullshit nobody helped you,kid or not he should be punished,and people are wondering why restaurants and other public places are banning kids, well teach those little bastards some respect.
chubbear 14
I'm wondering why this is getting downvotes...
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
At least you started off well. Then shifted not so subtly into an old man's rant.
chris_lillo 15
I honestly just don't know what to say.......
RinoaHeartilly 36
This is probably the most painful thing I have ever read.
Kevin Morales 5
bruh, that's some shit my little cousin would do. me, if beat his ass. then if kill myself to never interact with anyone that was there again
HaleyMeredith 13
X
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Little bastard needs a good talking to. With a belt!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
And I'm sure the kid's parent just laughed and let them do it with no repercussions at all.