Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented, "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a girl I'm interested in, I parked on campus and ate my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML
Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML
Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML
Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML
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Top comments
iSativa 24
Now how you gonna take her home?
NinjaJellyfish 27
The creep in the jeep...
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Comments (133)
iSativa 24
Now how you gonna take her home?
Jake_Hale 7
OP you should've said "i heard the new girl at school is a weirdo...oh wait that's you."
michelleJ11 25
14, she didn't know it was the OP's jeep. There was no need for him to be rude.
allie2590 31
Hopefully not by tying her up and throwing her in the back.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
You don't do that the first time you take a gal home, 38? Usually it takes time for them to open up to me, but after 5 days they're begging me to go to their house. But they always run once I let them out.. I don't understand it.. Commitment issues maybe?
Welshite 40
Actually, they take the hard-to-get ploy a little too literally. Trust me, I have to chase them down all the time.
ohgeejosee 19
She's gonna find out you lied then really think you're a creep... Shoulda told her and let her make her own assumption.. Obviously she wasn't thinking you were a creep.
Powerfull_fml 8
Takes time for them to open up? Well, did you try using a sharper knife? I had the same problem once, but now they open up just fine...
DividableByZero 11
Duct Tape? Chloroform's a little expensive nowadays
TheCanucklehead 22
I'm pretty sure Stan knows how. Maybe op also beefs with Slim Shady
NinjaJellyfish 27
The creep in the jeep...
RoboCunnilingus 23
Who watches while you're sleep.
jkmartinjk 16
Your locks of hair he will keep.
michelleJ11 25
In the window he'll peep.
JustKittyKat 24
Through unlocked doors he may seep.
jnanderson 16
When you leave he will weep
apache316 6
Around the corners he will leap
Wizardo 34
Your emotions he will leech.
queerdragon 20
He likes to molest sheep.
bhou56 7
He has a tracker, it will beep
Ranimal 12
#28 killed it.
PenguinBitch 44
If you struggle he will beat.
webbface 25
That was ******* awesome guys!!!
ty7in_topic 31
In your house, he will creep.
Axipiter 24
The well in his yard, it is deep.
Powerfull_fml 8
your clothes he will rip, make you ready for the trip
Jake_Hale 7
My learnings will teach! :D
queerdragon 20
His dick is named Phileep.
flockz 20
he will sweep your limbs into a heap.
InvisibleMonster_fml 16
This was fantastic.
gc327072 31
He made you a bed, It's six feet deep.
ILoveMyArm 15
Though not a fan of censorship, your ****** he will bleep. I apologize in advance for my horrible attempt at joining the bandwagon of creepy rhymes.
Axipiter 24
Through 69's veins, envy does seep.
allie2590 31
From his basement you'll hear a peep!
webbface 25
After the rape, you will wreak!
lengi123 18
his crotch, it seems to peak
TheGodDamnJoker 9
He likes to hang them pretty steep
fax160 13
Your blood will seep.
fabs1171 23
In your skin he will creep to throw your bones into the creek.
amanda131 4
many of your toes he will keep, what a foot fetish freak
Pwn17 25
A lot of us are being sheep, but it's too late; the thread is in too deep.
sarahmb98 8
It's you, he will keep.
flockz 20
dreams crushed, he went home to ********** during his weep.
ghostlilac 25
Thanks to this thread, I'll never sleep
michelleJ11 25
His jeep horn, it will beep.
gotaplanstan 28
Man.... this thread is deep.
alisidewinder 9
I'm done with this website
airforce987 20
All of you need to shut the BLEEP up!
DJisHere11 19
#93 What, that doesn't even rhyme. At least make it rhyme next time.
joopjoop 19
well now if your friendship progresses and she finds out it is your jeep, you WILL look like a creep... jeepers creepers!
CrazyShytHappens 4
Pun intended ✔
LexSwift 17
You should've just said, "I don't know. Am I?" Don't get your feelings hurt, OP. If she was walking with you, she doesn't think you're a creep. :)
etoilenuit 15
Yea you should've just said "you tell me." Now you look like a creep by lying and not admitting it was yours.
Enslaved 38
Doesn't think you're a creep. . .YET. Maybe OP is creepy, and just putting up a facade. Kinda like not showing your true self on a first date.
goose12321 11
Maybe OP was instructed to show her around and she didn't have a choice to be walking with him.
sarahmb98 8
She also might have already known that it was his jeep, and was testing him to see if he would tell the truth, or if he would be a creep and lie to her.
hallix 21
It's time for a trade up.
thatnucca 36
Well, are you? Cos I heard there are some truth to rumors..
bluehero 17
Yeah like the one time I was pregnant even though I'm a guy, that was terrible when that was going around.
Holy_Schnikes 23
Yeah like that time when I was 10 and slept with a 30 year old and got an STD and in High School when I put a spell on a blonde cheer leader I never knew about to make her bald because I was jealous of her long blonde hair. And that time in seventh grade when people said I was a lesbian because I was a virgin.....I could go on about all the "truths" people said about me in school.
webbface 25
Wow... too far 89
Blackcatluck 19
You should make a book #89
jesustitts 20
So there was some truth to the rumor that I had a girlfriend when I was in high school? I didn't even know I was a lesbian.
Conn3ct 9
That's tough. Don't put much thought into it. You shouldn't care what people say about you. Live your life. Don't bother with other people's opinion. Be yourself and be happy about it.
JustKittyKat 24
"Want to find out? ;)"
DracoSpirita 21
How exactly do you say a winky face? "Want to find out, semicolon parentheses?"
raphanne_fml 33
#33 You could actually say it while winking. With your face.
TheDrifter 24
I say all emoticons and emotive acronyms in a robot voice. *winky face* *l o l*
Powerfull_fml 8
#33 never go full retard...
flashback.miss 28
should've came clean with her and made her feel humiliated. then again, you could take the chance to prove the rumours are wrong.
helen_ellexo 22
Lying about owning the creep jeep isn't a good start to proving rumours wrong
daesung 8
Im a creep. Im a loser. What the hell am I doing here.
PossiblyInDanger 24
You'd probably have less thumbs down if you had gotten the lyrics right.
gpg5 19
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. I don't belong here. I don't belong here
Enslaved 38
"Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?" ***Did Beck and Radiohead give birth to #11's newly written lyrics? :P
snugglesMcGee199 23
I think you got the lyrics wrong too. I may be wrong though.
februaryferni 8
I love that song though. (Sorry irrelevant) maybe a new verse about being a creep owning a jeep is needed?;)