Noise annoys

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

Funtime!

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

Yummy

Today, after a week of working 18-hour days, I finally sat down to eat more than a sandwich. Unfortunately my kitchen has become a mess and I bypassed the clean bowl I'd put on the counter and ate my ice cream out of the cat's dirty food bowl. FML

Sneaky girl

Today, I came home from work to pet-sit 2 dogs and 3 cats, only to find the dispenser for the cat food empty. I'd filled the dispenser yesterday and thought I'd placed it where the dogs couldn't reach it after I left for work. The Labrador could in fact reach, and a week's worth of cat food is now in her stomach. FML

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML