Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house, despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML
Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
I don't see anything wrong with this as long as everyone got cake.
extremenoodles 0
That's what you get for combining your son's baptism with your annual underground ****-fighting night.
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Comments (127)
Watson2013 0
were they Mexican lol
DisappearingRose 18
Racist
Epic222662 0
You deserve it for trying to make your child a religiousfag. Throwing a child naked into water and holding him like simbah ain't normal broski ;D
s2beans 0
hate cops with passion
averagesuperhero 0
I want to be a federal agent/detective and if I was off duty and saw someone participating in illegal activity, I would not hesitate to make the proper move and have them arrested.
wellardgerrard 0
what a dick!
andr3wfo44 0
dick move
sfree824 0
I would have told him to stay out of my house, you're the stupid ass for letting him back...
RyanKaufman 7
How dare Policemen do their job! How dare they just let people do what they want because he knows them! People today! So rude! Ok sarcasm aside, this is not a FMyLife worthy post. Why? You invited a cop to a party and he did his job, maybe your family shouldn't be low life scum who need to get axed. If he's a dick cop, then why is he your friend? You deserve it through and through, at least your son is alive.
dgag116 0
if this were my kids shower I would have thrown him out at the crack of a whip.
Justincolon22 15
they deserved it for being thieves