Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
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Top comments
PAPERCLIPv2 4
But you saved a life in the process, so it's worth it
igive 29
t least you prevented an accident.
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Comments (122)
OldMemoriesFade 8
Hey, at least you were nice enough to try and save her, I hope you feel better though, but you're obviously a good person.
zingline89 18
Oh cmon, you know this is a little humerus. Sure you'll have some wristrictions for a while, but you'll be 100% before you know it.
DiamondKiss 10
It sucks that you got hurt in the process of saving her from traffic but look on the bright side you can guilt her into taking the job your hand cant do lol jk. In all seriousness though that was a nice thing you did.
KVKdragon 26
As much as it sucks that you got injured, I commend you for your heroically successful efforts. Get better soon OP :]
Bright_Lights 14
No good deed goes unpunished...
123man 11
While your wrist heals, I hope she offers to provide you complimentary hand-jobs. It would be the polite thing to do.
perdix 31
I hope she's of legal age and hot because you are going to get so laid for that. It's not good for heroes to be disgusted or end up in prison.
Jascus 6
Well gosh, did you at least get a "Thank you!" from the girl? A hug? A kiss? A number? Anything?! A handsha- oh, wait, sorry, broken wrist. Well, I would have demanded something, myself! :P lol
DocBastard 40
You must be very smooth with the ladies. "Hey, I just saved you! Come back here and hug me, dammit!"
Pleonasm 36
Haha Doc you got me thinking... "Hey, I just saved you, And this is crazy, But come back here and Hug Me Maybe!"
anyav3 13
This just reminded me of final destination lol you cheated death now it'll come back for you and her
Kaerunoutof 3
Though after several days, you must be had sex with her. So it's not only "deserve it" but also "**** my life."
rapunzel3416 28
Exactly!! Wait what?