Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
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Top comments
PAPERCLIPv2 4
But you saved a life in the process, so it's worth it
igive 29
t least you prevented an accident.
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Comments (122)
8KAGE8 8
Well, that was heroic. You should be proud.
mercsl65 7
You should sue her or send her a bill in the price of her soul. It's only fair.
iTag_Skorn 4
Ha
welsea28 6
Did she try to help you out?
Pikachu17 13
You might get laid
bethrocksya 9
Prince Charming! I hope the girl helped you! But just remember OP, it might suck now. . . But karma will repay you GRACIOUSLY! :) Get Well Soon!
BFMV1225 7
Hope this girl was at least pretty.
DLT_fml 20
Let the car get her attention next time if she's that stupid. Survival of the fittest.
winkydog4056 16
Sounds like OP got some karma cooking! Whose corn flakes have you pissed on!?
hellokitty686 1
I hope she at least said thanks and helped you