Today, I went into my kitchen after placing a line of salt across the floor in front of the back door the night before to ward off slugs that keep getting in, only to find 12 idiotic slugs dead and shrivelled up, leaving a horrible gooey mess. I don't know why I expected any intelligence from them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
Today, I woke up to find my entire lounge floor crawling with maggots. Our whole house is clean, and they’re big enough to be days old, yet showed up overnight. I still have no idea where they’ve come from. FML
Today, I wasted 20 minutes trying to open a container of slime, only for rotten green liquid and weird brownish yellow goo to spray spanning 5 feet in all directions from me and my bed. I nearly threw up and now am getting a wet, sleepless night. FML
Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML
Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML
Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML
Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML
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Top comments
whysobeachy 37
Wouldn't expecting intelligence from slugs make YOU the idiot? Ooohh, plot twist.
Tripartita 45
A fellow attendee of the Winchester School of Pest Control, eh? It was the worst money I ever spent, but my house has been demon free…
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Comments (54)
rivimatt 20
That's demons and ghosts not slugs
doodlesdork 7
Works for both apparently. Slugs are made of mostly water and produce a mucus that covers their bodies to keep from drying out. So when they come in contact with salt it strips away their water and dries them up, killing them. Maybe slugs are secretly demons? xD
socialproduct 19
Would've been a much worse day if OP woke up to 12 dead demons on the floor. Like "damn, I gotta clean these demons up before I go to work"
rivimatt 20
Oh my god, I'm gonna need to de-demon my garden
XxNightwingxX 21
You've been watching too much Supernatural. XD Live and learn.
brittlesxo 5
you can never watch "too much" Supernatural.
rockeditionbarbi 14
Suicide pact. Definitely.
zack1717 10
Salt also keeps demons out.
jvanevery 19
at least they didn't get into the house that's really all you can hope for
engel2882 3
The salt isn't supposed to scare them away...it's supposed to kill them on the way in. They can't sense it until they hit it...
MitchRapp 20
Supernatural
RogenP 8
But no demons got in. So not really a loss.
haveyou000 22
also good to keep the demons away.
celo_24 9
Imagine the Slugs FML " O was slithering in to my hosts house when I came upon white dusty crystal but Ignoring them I slithered forward as far as a could feeling an intense burning sensation till I died"