Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my drunk mom informed me that out of all my potential brothers and sisters she’s swallowed over the years she’s "glad" I’m the one she "accidentally drooled onto her crotch, swam up her fanny and invaded" her "virgin egg." This kind of shit is why I moved out at 16 and still have a therapist. FML
Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML
Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
Today, my siblings and I were going through our old home movies after our mom recently passed away. We accidentally found a VHS sex tape of our mom and dad in their 20's. We are now collectively psychologically scarred, and can never unsee what we have seen. FML
Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shakethat 10
ydi for actually continuing to read the whole page. sicko
zattele 3
well instead of waisting your energy on being "scarred for life" get out there and make your own crazy sex history, just make sure no one writes, tweet, facebook, et al about it! so in the future your kids won't be in your situation. oh and just be glad if you were not conceived that night, if yes then FYL!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
Contradicted 1
YDI, you could easily have stopped reading it, now you get to live with that.....4shame
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Every high school's got a slutty girl OP. My suggestion is to shack up with yours and **** on everything your mom touches on a daily basis. May not be the best way, but you'll get laid, and eventually get peace of mind.
skyeyez9 25
You were probably conceived on that pool table.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
What's with all the "everyone's done it" comments? That's definitely not true.
dougfancy101290 0
Why did you keep reading it? I'm sure you would have noticed the comment in the yearbook was something sexual not long into reading it so why did you read the whole thing if you knew it was going to scar you?
mike3775 39
What you never expected your mother be a wild child when she was younger? Man the tales my mom has told me over the years never scarred me, since the funny thing is, I had exploits that were like the ones she had lol
poppyseed420 9
well maybe if so many guys didn't pressure us to we wouldn't sleep with them
RedPillSucks 33
Now you know why your nick name was always "Pool boy".
yusaku02 20
Poor guy, your mom is a ***** FYL
HomeAl0ne 20
Ah, sex on a snooker table! Personally, I can never decide whether to go for the pink or the brown.