Health, Embarrassing, Roommate and Farts: Night time entertainment

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

agreeclassic 3 306

vote type 1 438

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Freak out

By zAstonish - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

agreeclassic 23 275

vote type 1 4 208

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

agreeclassic 31 056

vote type 1 4 757

The smell test

By sosadstudent - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 35 116

vote type 1 4 468

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

agreeclassic 25 876

vote type 1 3 413

Sounds promising

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

agreeclassic 28 781

vote type 1 3 238

Hungover

By RedheadA - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

agreeclassic 38 670

vote type 1 3 698

Bad boy

By Shiva - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

agreeclassic 48 799

vote type 1 9 679

Self report

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

agreeclassic 42 729

vote type 1 8 777

Glade

By stinkystinky - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

agreeclassic 13 954

vote type 1 968

I'm OK!

By MAC. - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

agreeclassic 23 467

vote type 1 6 053

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 24 October 2018 6:05

Can't wait to see you on America's Got Talent, or one of its sister shows.

JustThatPerson 21

Saturday 10 November 2018 20:04

WAKE ME UP INSIDES

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metroido 17

Monday 1 December 2025 9:48

Ydi.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, it was our first kid-free weekend in almost two months, and I was hoping for a nice date night. Instead, she picked up two shifts at work and then had a girls' night. Don't worry, she assigned me a massive deep clean that ate up almost my entire weekend. FML

agreeclassic 514

vote type 1 157

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

agreeclassic 67 714

vote type 1 4 700

Today, after looking for my phone for three weeks, I used find my iPhone to track it to my sister-in-law's house. Her response? "Finders keepers, losers weepers." FML

agreeclassic 2 949

vote type 1 297

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

agreeclassic 10 292

vote type 1 29 906

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

agreeclassic 261

vote type 1 1 237

Today, I stopped watching porn at 6 a.m. to Google if depression makes you not able to cum. I was masturbating because I can't sleep. Insomnia is also a sign of depression. There's no joy at night anymore. FML

agreeclassic 990

vote type 1 250

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