Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML
Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. They shouted "Surprise!" as I walked into the room. In pure shock, I dropped the groceries I was holding, including a bottle of wine, which shattered. I spent the first 10 or so minutes of my party cleaning red wine and glass off the floor. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Smashing party! ;-) Next time don't do something you shouldn't have and then you won't find yourself caught short when you try cover it up.
perdix 31
You owe them much more than that for busting their daughter's hymen.
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Comments (108)
PincheEdgarr 0
lmao suckerr:D!! that's hardcore.
themclovin101 0
your dumb why would you have a party at her house ?? 1. she aint even there 2. ya know shit gonna hapoen its a party duh ydi for having in the firstt place
jojoboo1 0
I was just thinking that -82. why the hell would u disrespect her family like that and have a party at her house? do it at ur own house...
xXscream_girlXx 0
well, maybe her parents will like you for doing that.
kidclarke 15
What dumb bitch buys $500 glasses for whine?
needsagf14 12
well I'm sure she likes you even more for buying new ones
wordgirl 0
This is a win/win situation. That woman will never forget the class you showed in spending that much to replace something you felt responsible for breaking. Well done, mate.
armyman981 0
at least they know your honest
kelgel17 0
aww that was very sweet of you...your gf is a very lucky girl :)
NOWAYJOSE 14
she better be worth keeping or that's 500 bucks out the window.
uhn_fortunate 0
There are far worse things you could have broken, and the point is that when you screwed up you tried to do the right thing. Get over yourself bud, you could've burned the house down instead. Quit 'yer bitching.