Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML
Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. They shouted "Surprise!" as I walked into the room. In pure shock, I dropped the groceries I was holding, including a bottle of wine, which shattered. I spent the first 10 or so minutes of my party cleaning red wine and glass off the floor. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Smashing party! ;-) Next time don't do something you shouldn't have and then you won't find yourself caught short when you try cover it up.
perdix 31
You owe them much more than that for busting their daughter's hymen.
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Comments (108)
TheNewGuy03 29
did you try asking? :/ |the kid|
3son_fail3 0
ur pic reminded me of the old spice guy
perdix 31
You owe them much more than that for busting their daughter's hymen.
Zurk 0
likes this.
dudeitsdanny 10
Just a sheep and a pig, really.
Jonsey92 0
well everyone is invited t my house and u can do w/e we want in my party
chungy92 5
my god you sweet boy
one2three 0
bummer!
Mevvyla 1
Kudos, OP, for trying to make up for what you thought you'd done.
hollywoodplaya8 0
wow your stupid. rice! plain white/brown rice.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
#34, wow, YOU'RE stupid! No kind of rice will help with broken wine glasses, AND you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're"!
starile 20
Also, wrong FML, buddy.
starile 20
Also, wrong FML, buddy.
Haha_donkey 0
well at least you don't have to buy them presents for like 10 years
onnielief 4
That is funny as hell! Serves you right for throwing a party some place that isn't your place!
iplaylax 0
yeah and when their parents are out
sports_chic 6
ahahaha!!