Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush out. Also today, she changed her Facebook status to "In a relationship." I'm so damn lonely. FML
Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML
Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy, and unfriended me from Facebook. FML
Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote, "Cool picture" on his Facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply, "Who the fuck are you?" FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, I decided to try the Facebook dating profile. I met up with a guy, we had a great vibe and we were talking when I started rubbing his feet. He left and a bit later he texted me, telling me he had a great time, but to "never touch his fucking feet again" and blocked me. FML
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Top comments
lolmigosh 15
Maybe he's talking about something else?
MEM0817 18
After seeing his did you change yours to "Asshole dudes really piss me off"
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Comments (166)
9echo 17
Change your status to: "Rude jackasses really bother me."
bach2121 13
What a dick.
wowthatissad 9
Hopefully hes talking about someone else. It seems like even though we have so many means of communication, talking to people online is still extremely difficult.
jamnglamgirlie 17
He sounds like he thinks he's hot shit. :S Forget about that conceited asshole.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Maybe it was someone else? Optimism :D
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Ooh I was a little behind with my comment...
buddy51 23
He's a dick-wad, OP! Sorry for the disappointment but imagine how much worse it would be if you ended up going out with this two faced lying asshat wearing dung-dabbler!!
Trisha_aus 15
he is indeed a fuckclump.
sammyjanette 17
I must say thank you to the two of you. Those are some of the most awesome and unique insults that I have ever heard. It's always nice to expand your vocabulary.
redbandit9877 12
Why would he even agree to hang out if he wasn't going to like the person he was going to see? Jerks are really annoying.
whatismissing 8
Totally agree. Very childish.
graceinsheepwear 34
Jerks ARE annoying. And mean people suck. And Captain Obvious is on the prowl...
redbandit9877 12
So is Sir Smartass apparently.
Javier6597 19
Thats ****** up
KendraLaine 18
Don't jump to conclusions maybe its not about you at all.
imtooshy 18
I sure hope you took him off your friends list, maybe even block him for being suck an asshat! Sorry OP.
imtooshy 18
*such