Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear: "Do you give head?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Today, the cute coworker who's been flirting with me drove me home. While I was contemplating asking him to kiss me, he politely told me to, "Please get out, I promised my girlfriend I'd pick her up." FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML
Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML
Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML
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Top comments
iop330 22
That's when you say yes and headbutt him.
Wolfparable 22
Yeesh. Sorry that happened to you. I hope you decided he's not worth your time.
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Comments (155)
dutchy86 20
oh OP.... that sucks...
Shamandalie89 32
Why so many YDIs? Just because OP likes the guy doesn't necessarily mean she wants to give him head right away, especially considering the douchey way he asked her.
Jinxsie 27
Maybe some people think "you should know what kind of person he is if he's your crush so YDI" or something like that. I agree with you though. I hope majority was accidental. It happens.
Exodiafinder687 58
There's been a huge surge of people giving lots of YDIs lately. Either people trying to get the badges or just a lot of trolls.
Shamandalie89 32
#30 Yeah, I also think that's the reason, but it's just a crush, it's not like she said she's actually in love with him. You don't have to know a person very well to develop a crush. Well, that's a lot of accidents then.
Fern_Gully 20
But you probably *should* know someone pretty well to get in their car to get a ride home. Just a thought..
Shamandalie89 32
I agree, but my point was that people shouldn't click YDI just because she must have known what kind of person he was. You may think you know someone, but they can still surprise you with something they do/say.
martin8337 36
If the answer to the question is yes, the next question is: do you swallow?
BlindlyWandering 17
What if he is secretly gay and the next question was going to be "could you teach me?"
allplayedout 20
"Why, yes! In fact, I'll happily give your head to your weeping mother!"
Fern_Gully 20
That escalated rather quickly...
allplayedout 20
Shock and awe: the American way.
metalhead4740 14
Oh
PANDORUM89 21
all I can say is at least he asked and gave you the option to say no. a jerk that volunteered to take me home grabbed my hair and pushed my face down there and was like "its the least you could do" ... wtf. nah. lol I'd politely inform him that while you may or may not give head you don't hand it out in exchange for car rides and asking a girl that pretty much guarantees he won't get any.
MzZombicidal 36
Wow, I'm very sorry that prick felt he could violate your personal space and handle you in such a way, #38. I'd pepper spray that bitch.
BlondePsycho 43
I hope you told him thats a good way to get bite marks on his dick.
mistress_paz 30
Unfortunately, that's the thought that crossed my mind--at least he asked.
archerchic 6
Who would want to give head in front of their house? Sounds like a great way to get caught. Not to mention did he honestly think you'd say yes?
BlondePsycho 43
You should have said "It depends. Do YOU give head?" If hes a selfish dick that wont then leave because he wont at least compromise. If he says yes then make him prove it first. Great oral skills and a willingness to give tit for tat might make up for a total lack of tact
Rammer3500 23
Well he likes you at least. Or you're attractive. Something.
Badkarma4u 17
That could be a clumsy way of saying you have nice lips. I know guys who are that smooth.
Fern_Gully 20
I'm worried for you and your choice of friends and acquaintances then..
joeblow6969 5
At least he didnt just pull it out? Remember that episode of seinfeld? No one? Shit I'm getting old...