Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" He replied, "Opposites attract." FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, I met my dream man. Intelligent, excellent conversationalist, similar spiritual beliefs, attractive and compassionate. He proposed to my best friend last week. She asked me to be maid of honour. FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
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Top comments
StargazeKitsune 18
Just be glad people like that show their true colors right away instead of down the road. He saved you a lot of wasted time by making an ass of himself early on. You'll find better. :)
Matheo_fml 21
You are better off without a douchebag like that!
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Comments (70)
chosha_fml 27
Smart and (physically) attractive don't matter a damn if he's an asshole. That is not the man of anyone's dreams.
RavenTheFoxx 16
Sorry, OP, but i guess it is better to find out that hes not a man of your dreams (or anyone's dreams i imagine) now than 6 months or so down the line. Besides, there are other smart and attractive fish in the sea who arent douchebags.
Grayness_ 26
He's honest. I can't be that honest. I'd just say no. Maybe try to work on it? Not a lot of guys would say that unless you are seriously boring.
TheAprilWitch 22
Yeah, but it doesn't sound like a nice truthful remark from someone honest. He first said yes, then he laughed at her. He's an ass.
lchollett 22
At least now instead of wasting time with him, you can find someone who'll truly appreciate you, or at least not be so rude.
IridescentGirl 14
What an asshole. At least he didn't waste much more of your time though.
tiredofwaiting 25
Be thankful he showed his asshole side then later on. You deserve way better than this asshole.
johncanact 13
I wonder if he knows you go by "ThroatSlasher". Either way I'm sure he'll find out very soon.
Timmip12 9
I think he's to good for op
ShadJV 0
Looks like the "man of your dreams" is a jerk. Congrats for the shallowness.
Witchylady 18
That is horrible. Karma will kick him in the balls for that. Better luck next time