Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" He replied, "Opposites attract." FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, I met my dream man. Intelligent, excellent conversationalist, similar spiritual beliefs, attractive and compassionate. He proposed to my best friend last week. She asked me to be maid of honour. FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
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Top comments
StargazeKitsune 18
Just be glad people like that show their true colors right away instead of down the road. He saved you a lot of wasted time by making an ass of himself early on. You'll find better. :)
Matheo_fml 21
You are better off without a douchebag like that!
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Comments (70)
worldclassrager 41
He wouldn't know he hasn't been alone with you...but sorry OP I guess he thinks you can do better
meunluckycharms 16
"Throat Slasher" certainly doesn't sound boring to me!
beeferjay 34
live and learn and pray you are around to see karma repay the douchenozzle
FalloutScrolls 25
What an absolute prick! And proof that personality means more than anything.
tantanpanda 26
He still has a steady job and according to OP, smart. Sounds like he'll have plenty left when he gets old.
tinycroc 10
#28, is that really how you get back at guys who aren't interested? By showing "private" pics? I'm at a loss for words other than unbelievably trashy.
momac86 17
Rude much?!
lukian_fml 29
"He has a steady job" needs to be a stated feature?! How many douches do you meet?
more4me 27
You'd be surprised how rough it can be out there and it ain't easy to find a decent date!
more4me 27
What a wanker ! Hope you said "I hope you didn't think I was serious; I would never be caught dead with a narcissistic troll like you!" I really hate when people think just because you ask them out and they are not interested, that gives them the right to be rude. Chin up , OP. Someone else will turn up eventually !
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
"He's smart, attractive, has a steady job... and is a total wanker!" You dodged a bullet here OP.