Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my 4 year-old son wondered what would happen if he put 6 eggs in the microwave. FML
Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, as I was running late for work, I asked my husband to pack me some hard boiled eggs for lunch. When I went on my lunch break, I went to crack my eggs only to discover they were completely raw. When confronted, my husband said, “Well you didn’t say I had to cook them first!” FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tripartita 45
If you need help gathering the pieces, I've heard all the king's horses and all the king's men are pretty good. Note: if you want the egg put back to together again, however, you'll need to look elsewhere.
MrEldritch 14
Shouldn't have left the shell on, the steam buildup inside the egg makes it explode. Although, I have heard that it is possible to actually hard-boil eggs in the oven...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (29)
honeyleee 15
LOL, I've done this before. Learned the hard way.!
GhostFox 34
The moisture in the egg turns into steam, which, since any steam in a sealed container causes an explosion... Well, at least it didn't explode as you went to take it out. There are a lot of people that wind up burned from similar situations.
Bekll 31
I'm surprised you haven't had a cold hard boiled egg before since they are used in egg salad.
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Just about every hard boiled egg I've ever ate was cold, because you're supposed to put them in ice water to stop the cooking process and also because I keep a bowl in the fridge for snacking on. And the prepackaged eggs taste no different from the ones made at home.
AbiDowntown 16
I'm sorry...but thats funny as hell and you've cheered my crappy day right up!!!
jvanevery 19
of course just cracking it or putting a very small hole in it would work fine
Vveeeeeee 0
I always thought it wasn't safe to reheat boiled eggs.
sarahcroy20 12
You've never had a cold egg before? I keep my hardboiled eggs in the frig
peterblackmer91 12
You've never eaten a hard boiled egg???