Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML
Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML
Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML
Today, not only did my horse step on my foot & refuse to move, he also took the opportunity to crap on my other foot while I was incapable of moving. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
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Top comments
alex_gen 39
Thought that said 'broken lemur' at first. Hopefully the recovery process will be quick, OP, but in the meantime, you can enroll your horse in gymnastics, so it can be on its way to winning gold in the Olympics!
Yarecho 14
It's ok, he was probably just horsing around.
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Comments (31)
trucker2 33
Hope you heal well- and I would recommend you kick the horse in the ass with the good leg.
ShadowWyvern666 16
I would not recommend kicking a horse from behind
GhostFox 34
I don't recommend kicking a horse at ALL. War horses existed for a reason after all, even if this specific horse isn't bred for that.
One_In_Three 24
I was nearly killed by a horse before, yet I somehow burst out laughing reading that.
Costales_fml 7
Hope you have a speedy recovery OP!
alex_gen 39
Thought that said 'broken lemur' at first. Hopefully the recovery process will be quick, OP, but in the meantime, you can enroll your horse in gymnastics, so it can be on its way to winning gold in the Olympics!
Yarecho 14
It's ok, he was probably just horsing around.
Musicforlife29 12
Don't get on a horse without knowing the risks. That really sucks though!
sparkledoge 29
Knowing the risks doesn't change anything when the horse starts acting up while you're already riding so that's kinda pointless to say. And considering OP said "MY horse" i think they did know the risks. Accidents happen.
taywuhsaurusrex 19
Horses are (usually) smart animals with minds and personalities of their own. All equestrians accept that, and know injuries happen, but knowing the risks isn't going to help when your horse suddenly decides that something is scary, or gets bitten by a bug and startled, or pinched by a piece of tack, or tickled by their own mane, or suddenly decide they're having a bad day.
epiccrazy 15
Been there before, luckily I only had a bad contusion from my horse rearing up and flipping backwards on me. I later required surgery to have it removed. Hope you get well soon OP
horses99 4
I also broke my femur horseback! A bit of advice: EAT HEALTHY!! it speeds up the healing process 100 fold!
TimidRobot 8
Imagine if he would have pulled it off! I would pay good money to see that.
RichardPencil 32
Ouch! Sounds painful! Get well soon! I'm just thankful I'm male and don't have one of those!
TaoShaman 24
What? A femur is in your leg.
sungrays 16
Boys don't have legs. Didn't you know that?
sparkledoge 29
I just learned a new thing about male anatomy. I need to call my brother right now and ask him where he got his fake femurs.
RichardPencil 32
These people just cannot recognize a joke when it bites them in the ass! I know the femur is the thigh bone and all humans normally have two.
False_Stupidity 42
Doesn't even make sense as a joke mate. Just admit to yourself that you flopped on this one and let it be. There's no sense in beating a dead horse.
stryder9090 28
Are you sure you weren't on a donkey? Because your horse sounds like a real jackass.