Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my 4 year-old son wondered what would happen if he put 6 eggs in the microwave. FML
Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, as I was running late for work, I asked my husband to pack me some hard boiled eggs for lunch. When I went on my lunch break, I went to crack my eggs only to discover they were completely raw. When confronted, my husband said, “Well you didn’t say I had to cook them first!” FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
If you need help gathering the pieces, I've heard all the king's horses and all the king's men are pretty good. Note: if you want the egg put back to together again, however, you'll need to look elsewhere.
MrEldritch 14
Shouldn't have left the shell on, the steam buildup inside the egg makes it explode. Although, I have heard that it is possible to actually hard-boil eggs in the oven...
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Comments (29)
KingKralj 31
That wasn't such an eggcelent idea
ElusiveMee 6
Sometimes things blow up when you stray outside the norm and get some strange egg.
cootiequeen4444 11
cold hard boiled eggs taste fine, but do you mean the packaged hard boiled eggs like the kind you get from the college convenience store and the like? Those have always been pretty damn narsty from my experience. I doubt heating it would have helped much...
tim374 26
Packaged hard boiled egg... now I have heard of everything
Danne696 14
Reminds me of bagged milk and cheese in a tube.
whatahatuis 7
talk about hot water
KillerChipmunk 15
"Egg shrapnel" is not a phrase I ever expected to read.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Try making your own hardboiled eggs :)
LifeFailure 16
I like them better cold!!
sunshineandroses 9
Disclaimer, they eggspode. No loss, packaged hard-boiled taste off and have the consistency of rubber bands.
Saraishi 25
Cut it up before microwaving it. If you put it in whole it will blow up.