Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
anonymous_kenie 7
Hey sometimes life is hard
bloodierframe30 16
Wow. I'll call that a 'Hard' time
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Comments (131)
Moonlessnite 5
Discovering a new pain fetish? Tattoos can be a huge turn on.
Earths_Venus 25
Well you definitely don't need a cup of concrete to harden up!
deathstroke990 22
What?
MrRazzle 4
The saying goes: "Have a cup of concrete and harden the f@#k up." Just in case anyone was wondering.
wellthen7154 12
Trust me. It's not as bad as those whiny idiots who say they can take it and scream hystarically, or the prissy ones who will stand over and make you nervous by questioning the tattoo constantly. If you weren't causing trouble, it was nothing more than a little embarrassing, and the artist probably doesn't care too horribly much, unless you're like scratching your nipples or some weird creepy shit.
coried91 28
I hate when people scream in the tattoo parlor. I was getting a piece done on my back and this girl next to me was getting one on her upper arm. I think she's the reason my hearing sucks because she screamed the whole time and destroyed three of the guys stress balls. It was horrible!
gladlily 16
Screaming? Wow. I fell asleep through two pieces on my back. Someone screaming the whole time probably should skip getting a tattoo.
coried91 28
I wish she would have skipped it. I wasn't sleeping but I was laying there with my eyes closed and all of a sudden I jumped because she started freaking out. My guy was pretty pissed that I jumped but I think he was more pissed at the chick because he had to fix the spot he was working on. I've never heard someone in that much hysterics in a tattoo parlor before.
vassal44 9
Plus it's completely natural considering both tattoos and arousal release endorphins
kdm_km1 19
sounds like you should spend less time getting a tattoo and more time finding a date.
dachayke 16
Because you suddenly stop getting boners once you get a girlfriend.
thejewishfuhrer 17
Sounds like you're a ******* idiot.
kdm_km1 19
#57 You are a ******* idiot. So please join OP and go get a tattoo so you can "embrace the pain" and you too can get an erection with that pathetic excuse for a little **** you've got.
Nilorak 24
!??!!!??
Coeliacchic93 21
80 over aggressive much!
evan_7899 28
Well that escalated quickly...
dachayke 16
#80 you're 29 and you sound like a middle school bully. Now that's pathetic.
coried91 28
80- I think you went a bit over board.Take a deep breath and calm the hell down. Don't get your undies in a twist.
katt_is_here 24
#80 I hope that you get some help for that misplaced rage. You are a little scary right now. Take some deep breathes and some midol.
jake_lq91 1
#80 ha coming from the guy with dicks behind his head. dumbasssssss.
jordynsage 17
It might be the location you got the tattoo..
Pleonasm 36
That's your idea of relaxing? Damn OP, I wouldn't want to think what would happen if you were to be at a yoga class, a massage, or a beach/pool with other people around.
LowExpectations 30
Don't worry, in an emergency OP's penis can be used as a floatation device.
bighood24 17
well if you wanna be technical, an erection is actually a sign of relaxation... the muscles relax and the blood flows through easier... just a fun fact
xadoringx 29
Wish my tattoos felt like that lol
cryssycakesx3 23
mine usually do. it's the best feeling ever. especially piercing
JMichael 26
Hey if that's where you get your kicks more power to you OP.
weveallbeenthere 30
secret fetish?
steffidallasbfl 16
He probably didn't even notice op. No worries (: