Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was all set to attend my first renaissance faire ever. I took forever customizing the perfect costume and I couldn’t wait. My boyfriend on the other hand was pissed that it was too revealing, so he left me standing at the front gate, refused to give me my ticket, and went in without me. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Today, I hate what my beloved Renaissance Faires have become. Hardly anyone dresses in period-accurate garb anymore. Everything is all dumb mushrooms, slutty “fairies”, and pirates. None of which existed in the time period we’re supposed to be in. Nothing authentic at all! FML
Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML
Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML
Today, it was supposed to be a big date day for my girlfriend and I. She really loves a specific video game, so I did what I thought was special on it. I learned the hard way that doing so ruined the entire day for her over the video game. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
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Top comments
idragosani 17
There's nothing wrong with it. I've been doing this kind of thing for decades (specifically, Society for Creative Anachronism). Why do you have such a problem with it?
bigredmonkeybutt 30
RenFaires can be lots of fun, but it makes no sense to acquire a completely new costume for each event. Most people work up a solid character and make minor changes to their costumes.
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Comments (2)
idragosani 17
There's nothing wrong with it. I've been doing this kind of thing for decades (specifically, Society for Creative Anachronism). Why do you have such a problem with it?
bigredmonkeybutt 30
RenFaires can be lots of fun, but it makes no sense to acquire a completely new costume for each event. Most people work up a solid character and make minor changes to their costumes.